Positivity

I have struggled my whole life remaining positive. In some ways this has helped me, especially in my day job. I’m always thinking about the worst case scenario and that helps me be prepared for the worst, because that’s the inevitability of things right? Things are always going to turn for the worst. My life experiences have taught me that this is the case. If it can go bad, it probably will.

Wait! Stop! The above is my normal brain. My head is constantly reassessing and wondering when the bad will happen. When will this relationship fail? When will I fuck this up? When will the shit hit that fan?

But this isn’t fair. It’s not fair to me. It’s not fair to my partner, my child, my friends. So I’m GOING to change this! I understand that bad things happen. But I don’t have to expect them. I don’t have to sit around and wait for things to go wrong. I can be prepared mentally and physically to handle adverse situations, but I don’t have to help the bad things happen by constantly having a negative attitude.

If I struggle with something that doesn’t mean I’m failing. It means I’m learning and growing and changing for the better. Just because one thing goes wrong, doesn’t mean EVERYTHING is going to go wrong.

I want to rewire my brain to think about the positive aspects of life. I need to focus on the good and embrace the beauty of life. Because! I have a wonderful life! Past experiences have taught me that the wonder doesn’t last forever. But that’s the past. This is the now. The present and the future. I can take control of those things and change how my mind handles the bad. Instead of being upset and feeling like a failure, I can embrace adverse situations and grow and change. I can apologize for my faults and except others faults. Inevitably what others do and say really isn’t about me anyway. The only thing that I need to worry about is my opinion of myself. And dammit I’m going to try my hardest to have the best opinion of myself imaginable. Today- that opinion is high. I am strong. I am smart. I am a good person. Tomorrow- maybe I will have a challenge and my opinion might fall. But I will remind myself about the good, and I will raise that opinion again.

I will affirm the positivity in my life and you should too.